Review of The Boss
Question:
I am at a loss on how to answer the questions on this review of my boss, that is due Tuesday. She is in desperate need of communication skills. She has made many people uncomfortable in approaching her. You never know what mood she will be in. And heaven forbid, if something goes wrong. There is never a good day, almost always there is negativity coming from her mouth. The thing is that when corporate's around or on the phone she does an about face! And it's done so well. Very short tempered, I feel for these people, and I also have been attacked by her tone and the choice of words. My desk is 6 feet across from here so I am exposed to this 5 days of week.
How do I answer the question: What parts of the job do you think your supervisor could improve upon? Please list any other recommendations or comments you may have in regards to your supervisor’s performance!
How can I answer these without it back firing on me? It is obvious to me that she needs some help. Could you please help me? Thank you.
Signed,
Six Feet Across From Trouble
Answer:
Dear Six Feet Across From Trouble:
Obviously, you are afraid to answer the performance question about your boss that you have been asked. You don’t say how long this person has been your boss nor do you say anything positive about your relationship with her. Therefore, I assume you have sat six feet across from her and failed to confront her even when she has “attacked” you. Apparently, your silence has spoken loudly. It has told your boss that the way she communicates works. Her moods and bad temper have you scared and also have kept your coworkers in line. Moreover, her skill in communicating cooperatively with those above so far has worked for her.
Your query sent to Ask The Workplace Doctor is more than about how to answer this question about your boss. It also is about process. You don’t trust the process. You don’t trust that what you report will be used constructively. You fear your boss will hurt you if she learns that you report critically of her. You can’t assume that what you report will NOT be seen as anonymous. Criticism almost always gets back. You must assume that she will know you have criticized her. Even if your work group is large, and all of those in it honestly report she treats them as you say she has, she might think some of whatever is reported about her could be from you. It is obvious that then, unless she is fired or transferred, her natural reaction would be to lash back in some way at some or all of you. The fact is that unless the review of her performance is devastating, you boss’s job will be safe. Likely the review will not be all bad because you and others of your coworkers are afraid to say much if anything negative.
Therefore you must decide either to answer with what you said about her to us or to avoid reporting anything negative. If you choose to answer honestly, you will come to work for the next few weeks wondering if your boss will find a way to get back at you. If you choose to answer this upward review ambiguously or with positive words about the way you are bossed, you and your coworkers can expect more of the same from her. So face it. There is no sure fire way to change the way you are bossed by silence.
I could stop here and let you stew about whether to speak your mind or to bite your tongue. But, here are some other options to consider if you truly want to do your part to make your workplace a good, if not a great, place in which to work:
· Option One: Don’t hide. Confront your boss and tell her what you wrote us. Say that you apologize for not speaking to her earlier, but before you hide behind an anonymous report your feel it was only fair to tell her what you are planning to report. Be prepared for her to respond negatively. If she reacts angrily, that will be more evidence of the truth of what you will report. If she responds positively, you can add that to your answer and tell her you appreciate that and that you would like to do all you could to make her job easier. Isn’t that what you would want her to do if you were in her shoes—to have criticism brought to you rather than to be given behind your back?
· Option Two: Get coworkers to sign a group-wide answer to your core question. In preparation for that, carefully compose a list of examples of what your boss does well. Be specific about what, when, where and who for incidents of where she has given clear assignments, been supportive, acknowledged good work, etc. Next do the opposite; list actions she does poorly such as angrily criticizing a subordinate, slamming a door, lashing out rather than helping solve a problem, exploding when something goes wrong, etc. Be specific as possible about what was said or done, when, where and who. Based on these two lists, write a short summary statement that answers your core question: What parts of the job do you think your supervisor could improve upon? Please list any other recommendations or comments you may have in regards to your supervisor’s performance! I mentioned that you didn’t say how long you have worked at this place, but hopefully you have been there long enough to earn credibility with your coworkers and hopefully with your boss. So if you have established respect of coworkers you can huddle with them and learn how many of them will sign that statement. If you can get nearly a unanimous number of coworkers, you then will have a powerful answer to that core question. If you can’t, you will learn what they will do. Should they say she isn’t really so bad, you will know there is little hope for her changing and you will have to decide if you have courage to do Option One.
· Option Three: By-pass. Go to Human Resources, Personnel or your boss’ boss. Frankly explain that you are afraid to answer the questionnaire because you fear that that will make matters worse. Be prepared to explain why. Your preparation for Option Two will help explain.
Weigh these options. Option Two would most effectively protect you if you get most of your coworkers to sign; however, it too has risks. You could be seen as a troublemaker who stirs up the troops. To prevent that, you might quietly and informally sound out two or three coworkers to learn if they would be co-sponsors of a joint statement.
Work is hard enough without working scared. Ironically, it just might not be so hard if you fearlessly confronted your fear. Remember a hostile culture and bad bossing doesn’t just happen over night and that by acquiescing to it, one re-enforces it. There are no quick fixes. Creating a good workplace is an on-going process. Working together with hands, head, and heart takes and makes big WEGOS, and that is what you want. You want not to come to work scared and you want all to feel the exhilaration that comes from working together to do the very best job possible and that includes your boss. Respect begets respect.
Follow Up One Day After And Before Your Tuesday Deadline for Her Review:
I have confronted her on how she talks to me. I told her the problem she
has is she doesn't know to communicate with people--she talks down to
them and at them not to them.
I left the office for a walk came back and she started to cry and
apologized. She changed for a while and started her outbursts towards
others.
I need to express my concerns to corporate for the sake of the people
we manage as well as the company and myself. Of course I will have to choose
my words carefully. Thank you again
Dear Six Feet Across:
Your brief follow up note regarding the confrontation you had with your boss and its positive result, for however brief it was, is something you have learned about her—that is your boss wants to do well and not to have you see her as “talking at or down.” This is to her credit, something you failed to mention in the original above description. The issue is still before you—whether to make your report of her anonymous or whether to engage your coworkers in a group-wide statement or whether to speak with her about what you will say in your report of her manner of communicating and managing. It is evident that in whatever you decide you will want to minimize hurting your boss’ feelings and at the same time you don’t want to minimize your determination that she needs to learn how to convey respect to those she supervises. Thinking through these “whether” issues is an ethical and relational matter that comes before and with as you say, “I will have to choose my words carefully.”
Every boss/bossed relationship has a history and I’m sure yours can be more satisfying and effective if that relationship will be one with caring and forthright communication. So far that kind of process has not been a regular pattern in your boss and her work group’s interaction. I think there is the potential for transforming your work group into a team—one that in which your boss sees herself as a coach and your coworkers see themselves as members of a team out to deliver the best possible products and service. This request from upper management to evaluate your boss should be seen as an opportunity to work toward and through to that transformation. My best to you as you see yourself as part of making that happen. That is what I meant in my signature statement about getting to WEGO.
William Gorden