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I work as a manager in a team of managers. One of my peers has not been
speaking to me in the last few weeks but has, instead, been speaking to our
other peers about me and saying that I intend to make trouble for our boss and
that I am being groomed for our boss's job. I've noticed a change in my
relationships with my peers because of this and have tried to speak with the
original person several times but she chooses to avoid me. I believe in trying
to work things out directly before getting our boss involved, but what can I do
if she won't sit down with me?
I feel that this conflict is affecting my work and has become a negative distraction in the workplace. There are several factors to the conflict: I am the youngest member of the team, I interact with other co-workers externally to the department on work related issues, I present a confident demeanor. On the other hand, my peer (who was my friend) is older, chooses not to interact outside of the department, and has low self-esteem. There is no truth to the rumors she has spread about me -- I don't have enough experience, nor do I think I could do our boss's job. How can I resolve this? I'm losing sleep and precious work time worrying about this issue.
Signed,
Talked About
Dear
Talked About:
It seems to me that you have two choices:
1. To ask someone, probably your superior, to arrange a one-on-one confrontation to clear the air. Working together requires speaking and speaking civilly. The superior can act as a facilitator.
2. To approach it team-wide. The issue indirectly would be: are there ways we might work together more effectively; are there things that are frustrating full cooperation? You will have to be the initiator. The peer whom you believe to be spreading divisive rumors will not be the initiator.
Getting to the spirit of WEGO sometimes takes candid confrontation and if that does not work the next step may be a third party intervention.
Bill Gorden
Workplace Doctors